On a dreary Easter evening

Tonight I received such a precious and unexpected gift.
Tonight I skyped with Julie Anne Zeller. For. THREE. Hours.

We talked only about the things that matter.

Family. Heartache. School. God taking hearts of stone and turning them into hearts of flesh. God's word piercing souls and transforming lives. Love. Seasons of friendship. The Cross. Singlehood. Covenant Marriage.

Let's back up a bit. There's need to know our context. You need to understand why talking with this pretty lady means so much to me.

The Chronicles of Jules and Alex:

“Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. Its splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”
- Anne Shirley

Julie and I grew up going to church together. Learning about Jesus through felt boards and baptisms in the backyard. It was not until Julie's freshman year of high school did we become friends. You see, Julie is three years younger than me and I was the sort to only hang out with either kids who were my age or those who were older. I thought myself very mature. I did not hang out with babies. Or so I thought...

Julie and I were destined to be friends. Great God fearing friends. The sort of friends that just fit.

*Jules and her beautiful momma*

Boy was I blessed to know her and know Jesus through her. The progeny of urban missionaries, this woman had a relationship with Jesus that was all her own. Her faith was one filled with soul searching questions and a pure desire to know the nature and character of our God. Discipleship was what she pursued. Needless to say, I easily fell in love with her and quickly we became friends, sisters, kindred spirits.


Before I knew it my senior year was through and I was headed to Biola University. This new chapter marked the beginning of our paths diverging. It signaled the changing of a season that was entirely too short lived. While we chatted every once in a while and saw each other over Christmas things weren't the same. They weren't bad. They were different. We were different. I was a young college student, eager and excited to experience all that college had for me. Julie was navigating high school and friendships and God in the midst of it all.

The summer after my sophomore year, Jules and I were hanging out. We were thrifting that afternoon. You know, the norm. I recall I purchased a frame adorned with gold leaf and a pink striped dress that made me look like I was five... Perfect.

As we drove from one thrift store to another in search of treasures, we discussed God and Calvinism and our wretched souls. Jules discussed her plan to spend her senior year of high school in Argentina studying at Palabra de Vida. We were so excited for how God would be shaping the next year of her life. We were excited that God was taking me to Utah again with a team from Biola to spread the Gospel to the thirsty. God was moving us, molding us, and taking our paths in such different directions.

*Jules drinking mate in Argentina*

We didn't know it then that this casual hang out would be the last time we would talk for over two years.

We would write each other notes via facebook (cheap, I know) but were never able to correspond in real time. Our lives during the two years developed. Julie, having returned from Argentina, began college at Masters. Began seeing a boy, began falling in love with said boy. I spent some time in Chicago before starting senior year and delving deeper into God, ministry, scholastics, and the relationships I hoped to take with me as Biola cut the cord and pushed me into the big unknown.

I am again in Chicago, this time living not for a sultry summer but for further scholastic endeavors.

Julie is still at Masters. Finishing junior year. Planning a wedding with aforementioned boy.

*Jules with boy*

We are two years of silence and two thousand and twelve miles apart. Vicariously learning about each others lives via facebook (again, cheap) and mutual friends. We've missed out on very pivotal moments in each others lives. Painful moment. Joyous moments. We've missed so much.

And yet, we've gained. Gained more in one predestined conversation over a very temperamental Skype than I could have ever hoped for. Thanks to Skype and God's timing we were able to see each other and catch up and pray together.

I love how God not only redeems our souls but desires to redeem friendship broken by distance.

I hope you now understand the gravity talking with this lady tonight held for me. I bet you now have a friend crush on her. I don't blame you. It's totally natural.

Jules you are a treasure and will make an incredible wife.

p.s. I love you
p.p.s. all photos, sans the one of her and I, were hijacked from Jules facebook (major cheap)

Not forgotten

It's been a while.

Consistency these past few months has been a concept unknown. With the semester finishing, which meant the completion of my Biola career, my day-to-day lacked deeply in the routine I so desperately loved. In between last minute assignments, studying, reading and packing, I was able to spend some precious time with dear friends. It's incredible that one could become so close to individuals within such a short period of time. While only meeting many of these people within the last four years and only being more intentional about my relationship with/to them within maybe the last year and a half, I consider them my brothers and sisters. God has brought me into a deeper understanding and connection to the family that is the Church. These men and women challenge me, pray with/for me and are continually pointing me, sometimes carrying me, towards the Cross. How will I take you all with me? Has our time together expired?

Then came graduation and for the 1st time in my four years I would be participating in the ceremonies. Praise Jesus for His faithfulness in carrying my through! Graduations in general are always soo long and it's usually hot. The speaker tends to be boring, as a spectator you cannot see the person you've come for, and the seats are always aggravatingly uncomfortable. My dream was always to graduate in December.
My reasons why:

1. The ceremonies are held in the evening. COOL
2. The Chase Gym is where the ceremony takes place. What I love about this is that the gym is place where chapel was held every M/W/F. We would sit on the floor or on the bleachers and listen to Ron "Buster" Hafer open with prayer or Todd Pickett lead us in a lectio divina, maybe hear a word from Clyde Cook or Biola's new President Barry Corey. We would then listen to an exhortation to enter into missions or receive words of wisdom on loving God. We would sing songs of worship to God, your voice getting lost in the crowd of students. Sometimes I would just stop and just look around at all the people worshiping Jesus. Some people were sitting, others standing, men and women laying face down, arms raised, students dancing. Everyone giving glory to God, each in a beautifully distinct way. Each heart expressing the same thing in it's own dialect. I love chapel. I love community. I love Jesus.
3. Because it's December the Biola Christmas Tree is all lit up! The tree is beautiful and right outside of the gym. Likewise, framing the doors entering into the gym are large pine trees. It's as wintry as SoCal could ever be.
4. Again, due to the timing of the graduation there are substantially less people graduating which means a short ceremony!
5. Family and friends sit in the bleachers and while they are also quite unbearable to sit in for long periods of time (try for over 4 hours...yikes) the visibility factor is substantially better.
6. Following the ceremony there is a reception in the Cafe with dessert and coffee and it's FREE! What? Thanks BIOLA.

But I did not graduate early and I did not graduate late...
I graduated on time and therefore did not get my wish. However I have no regrets. Sitting right behind me during the ceremony was my very own Priscilla and next to me was Lauren Jalowiec! Ok God, no big deal! George Verwer gave a beautiful speech. I gave BC a hug. There was so much excitement and energy in the air on the day of graduation. There was also intense chaos. Especially right after the ceremony ended. I felt like an ant whose hill had just been stepped on.
I did not have any set plans after graduation and that made the choas less chaotic. I didn't even end up going to any grad parties but the day was great and for the most part stress free.

I'm a graduate. I have a BA. I'm BA. I'm growing up and I desire to resist that at every turn.


Oh yeah, before I forget to mention it, I got into grad school!!! The Jane Addams College of Social Work at the University of Illinois at Chicago decided to accept me. They also decided to provide me with a 94% tuition waiver which comes out to roughly $24,000.

God, you are so good to me and I don't deserve it. For this reason I am all the more grateful. You know what I need and you never cease to show up exactly when I need you.